Duly Noted

For nearly a month I've been waking up and falling asleep to Pacific waves crashing against giant boulders on the rocky coast of Muir Beach, California. I often find myself musing: I never thought I'd do...this, that, the other thing. Gradually though, its seeming that the expansive ocean is a reminder that if I just let go and accept, unexpected discoveries are abundant and can be expected as such. Letting go is a challenge for me. Finishing up at Macalester, struggling to overcome difficulties at Common Harvest, feeling lonely and dull at home this past fall...during these phases, I tried practicing Letting Go. And boy, I had a time of it. But at Slide Ranch, its perhaps easier to let go because its so obvious that I cannot control the weather, the tide, the wild animals, other people. I can make efforts to nurture the land and the animals that we all take care of at the Ranch, but nature is going to trump me every time. So, it really comes down to how I want to use my...

I was going to write :"our little nugget's due date came and went," but she isn't a nugget anymore!  Not even close!  She is feeling like a real baby in there!  All knees and elbows.  Regardless, her due date came and went on Wednesday.  This wasn't a surprise for anyone, including me, although I was hoping that maybe she would make an unexpected appearance in the days leading up to May 25th.  The good news is that Mike is done teaching for the year and I decided to make Tuesday my last day, so we have been enjoying some time together with Misha at daycare.  These past couple of days have been rather peaceful as we have finished some projects (our basement guest room is ready!), started some new ones (Mike is replacing all outlets- he is on a total home repair kick), whipped up some desserts (strawberry shortcakes with ricotta filling, one of my favorites), and organized stuff (like an electronics drawer- found an undeveloped one-use camera from 201...

July somersaulted into August as Mike, Misha, and I headed from our cabin weekend to joining Mike's family in the northeast.  There, our days were colored with gray fog rising off the water in the morning and jewel toned sunsets.  Early morning coffee with the baby and rounds of game playing in the evening.  Trips to the local corner store for soft serve coffee ice creams.  Long runs along hilly roads with views of shingled farm houses and adirondack chairs.  Postcard perfect views from mountain trails and steep, careful downhill climbs with precious cargo strapped to my frame.  A cold swim for a little babe in a evergreen shaded lake.  There was a not so satisfying crab cake, and, fortunately, a very glorious oh-so-savory crab cake later on.  With lots of eager arms and quick smiles about, Misha savored the loving attention from his family while Mike and I set off to complete as many crosswords as humanly possible.  :) Preparing to set o...

So here we are- four days on the other side of April 1st.  I have yet to start a conversation without the confirmation, "No baby."  It is understandably challenging to think about anything else. That said, I no longer support the issuing of a "due date."  It is widely reported that first time mothers typically go at least a week over the "due date."  But still, that due date lingers like light at the end of a 40 week tunnel.  When an expectant mom is turned away at the gate (I'm picturing that cranky guard in Wizard of Oz- "Who's knocking on that door?"), a new kind of waiting game begins.  I wholly recommend an institutionalized shift to the term "guess date." It's a little ridiculous to think I am edgy over a few extra days.  Soon our little one will be with us for good, for forever.  Mike reminds me that this "late" arrival is a blessing; this week is our spring break so we have been able to relax and en...