the highs and the lows...

Week 37 has not been my best week but my head is above water and there is sunshine on my skin again.  I felt pretty run down thus skipping my power hour (or half hour) of sweaty glory at the gym- a combination that never improves my state- pregnant or not.  On Thursday, the tides changed when I refused to listen to my laundry list of excuses and dragged my sorry pregnant self onto the elliptical.  After "sweeping out the cobwebs" (as my mom likes to say), I felt like a new woman.

I am completely aware that my mental/emotional state depends on exercise (especially in the fresh air).  It's certainly an addiction in the sense that when I go without it, I crave it, I behave differently, and I get cranky and downtrodden.  But, is that necessarily a bad thing?  It's nice to know that I can rely on movement for some positive energy.  A little sweat and fresh air is all it takes.

IN OTHER NEWS...I have to chuckle at myself.  I am the WORST at IKEA.  I cannot go to the factory alone.  I am utterly paralyzed.  I need intervention.  Today, I prepared myself for entering its maze of yellow and blue and Swedish meatballs.  I did 45 minutes on the elliptical.  I got a power smoothie.  I wore practical shoes and a fleece instead of a wintercoat to prevent excessive shopping sweat.  But, guess what?  Did you know that it takes a full hour to park, navigate an empty cart through the complex, and then find your car again?  True story.  I admit to looking at a price tag of a reading lamp and handling one picture frame, but other than that, it was a one hour straight shot from car to following arrows through store to car again.  I didn't buy a thing.  Oof.

Still, it has been a happy Saturday.  After reading Anne Lamont's Operating Instructions, a memoir on her son's first year, in the afternoon sunshine, Rachel the dog and I headed out for a walk in the neighborhood.  Although it was still pink cheek weather with a chilly wind, the sunshine kept us warm as we splashed through puddles and snowdrifts.  There is a pretty school near the river with a stretch of fenced in field.   With no dogs in sight, I let Rachel off leash and smiled as she ran through the trees in pure glee.  Now we are both resting on my favorite vintage couch.

Baby is on the mind constantly.  I am so excited for the big event.  I can't believe that I will meet this little being so soon.  It will be strange to hold him externally after weeks of carrying this dear soul in me.

On Friday, my students discussed people who've changed the world for the better.  Someone pointed out that behind that success, there is some inspiring unknown- a teacher, a mentor, a dad, a mom.  When I asked who inspires them, four out of five students attributed their passion and drive to their moms.  I gotta say- I was simultaneously invigorated and terrified by their responses. A mother's love is integral to changing our world for the better.  I believe that a father's love is integral too.  My prayer is that we lead by example, open hearts, watchful (but patient) eyes, and lots of hugs.