Feeling Stuck

It is always mid to late February when the stir crazy bubbles up.  I begin to wonder: What am I doing?  Why are we still living here?  How come everything feels so boring? So meaningless?  I blame it mostly on the weather; sludgy on the outside...equally sludgy on the inside.  I spend time blaming myself too; only boring people are bored.  That's what they say, right?  I travel to the land of I shoulds.  Dr. Seuss talks about this land in Oh!  The Places You'll Go.  Remember that book your Aunt bought you for 8th grade graduation?  To be honest, growing up, I never liked that book.  What do you mean you'll get stuck in the dumps?  In the land of waiting?  I didn't get it.  Life was pretty wide open and forward for my first 30 years.  
Now, with two young children of my own and a little Bungalow that I've called home for over seven years, I resonate with our quirky Seussian hero.  I am familiar with slumps, bumps, and dumps.  And I sure don't like living there. …

Weekly Menu- 5/30-6/3

Obviously, all menu planning is tentative this week as we wait for our baby girl to arrive.  Not to mention, this weekend is my 10 year Macalester reunion!  I have a bunch of friends in town, but I have no idea but if/when/how I will see anyone.  I am sure the near and dear friends will drop by if our late bloomer is born, but everything is up in the air.  Luckily, the last few years of motherhood have taught me to accept this state and let go of the imagined control I like to think I have.  I can make plans and move forward without disappointment if they don't work out.  That said, it's especially easy to move on if the plan involves Thursday night rotini, and a whole lot tougher if it involves true loss.

I swear I wasn't planning to philosophize when I began this post. :)

Memorial Day BBQ

Chicken Orzo Salad (subbing feta for the goat cheese)

Veggie Enchiladas with avocado cream sauce

Rotini w/homemade sauce (ground turkey)

Toddlers &…

Post Due Date Dreaming

I was going to write :"our little nugget's due date came and went," but she isn't a nugget anymore!  Not even close!  She is feeling like a real baby in there!  All knees and elbows.  Regardless, her due date came and went on Wednesday.  This wasn't a surprise for anyone, including me, although I was hoping that maybe she would make an unexpected appearance in the days leading up to May 25th. 
The good news is that Mike is done teaching for the year and I decided to make Tuesday my last day, so we have been enjoying some time together with Misha at daycare.  These past couple of days have been rather peaceful as we have finished some projects (our basement guest room is ready!), started some new ones (Mike is replacing all outlets- he is on a total home repair kick), whipped up some desserts (strawberry shortcakes with ricotta filling, one of my favorites), and organized stuff (like an electronics drawer- found an undeveloped one-use camera from 2010...curious wh…

38 weeks....

Yesterday, on the stairmaster, an article in Parents magazine directed me to listen to the podcast Pregnancy Confidential; each episode zooms in on one week of pregnancy.  Naturally, I tuned into week 38.  The hosts captured my attention immediately: "Week 38: You're probably feeling pretty desperate to get that baby out, and really terrified of the possibility that the baby might come out."  They hit the nail on the head.  I described this idea to Mike, and he said, "Well, not terrified, right?"  I suppose he is right, "terrified" is not exactly the right word.  It's more like, soon our lives will be forever changed.  It's a big deal.

I feel very similar to how I felt as I waited for Misha, varying between:
a) I can't WAIT to be NOT PREGNANT!
b) Trying to stay in present in the moment- wrapping up the school year and appreciating time with Misha and Mike...the miracle feeling elbows and knees pushing on my rib cage.
c) Peaking over the e…

The 3rd Trimester RETURNED

Those who've recently experienced pregnancy will know what I mean when I say I have feel like I have been pregnant FOR-EV-AHHH  and, simultaneously, I cannot believe that I beginning to count weeks to the "due date."

On one hand, I am anxious to move without restriction, and I can't WAIT to wear something other than my pregnancy clothes (ugh!).  But, on the other hand, it is a little sad to think that I have only eight weeks or so of feeling kicks to the ribcage and waking up to disco parties in my uterus.  When I give myself a chance to pause, I am able to appreciate the miracle of carrying another life inside of my own!

This week is our spring break- Mike and I have the same one this year (again! yay!).  Three years ago, I was waiting for Misha to be born.  This waiting is not so different.  It is really difficult to imagine meeting this little one and bringing her home.  Even though there are less unknowns than the first time around (for instance, I KNOW that ev…

Summer Swim

On a Saturday morning in July, Mike, Misha, and I headed to Powderhorn Park, a green bowl in the middle of the city, to meet some our favorite friends at the wading pool.  Minneapolis may not have the lap pools of my youth, but, as a parent with a toddler, I have certainly discovered the value of the wading pool.  I don't think that there are many experiences more pleasant than sitting shin deep water, talking with good friends as you watch your little ones splash and play games together.  A light breeze fluttering through the trees and playing with our hair.  Our children pretending to be fish and crocodiles.  Learning to share.  Learning to swim.  Learning to linger.


I want to write more often.  Everyday, a least one idea runs through my head that pulls at me to write down, but I rarely do.  I plan to start carrying around a little striped moleskin I received in my stocking so I can capture these fleeting ideas.

This afternoon, let's have a quick chat about routine.

For me, routines are usually helpful and intentional.  These days, I eat before I run.  I run before I teach.  I make dinner for my family.  I read before I sleep.  During the school year and the work week, I have a pattern that I can count on for stability and balance.

During the weekend, I have a few routines too.  I like to eat pizza on Fridays.  I run my longest run, usually with a friend, Saturday morning.  I try to go to church on Sunday.

Then, there are my routines with little Misha.  We read before he goes to bed.  I sing him the same songs as I tuck him in at night.  He watches an episode of "Elmo" while he eats oatmeal for breakfast. I give him a cup of water A…